tropang “S”
If ever I have a time machine or a time turner or anything that can make me turn back the time, I want to turn back the time where everything was so simple. Where I am still young, innocent and so naive with almost everything. Where life is not yet complicated. Where I could do mistakes as many as I could and I could blame it for being young and innocent and inexperience. Where I thought I had the right to be stubborn because I am young. Where most of my treasured memories came from. Where I experienced most of my firsts. I want to turn back the time, turn it back during my high school days.
Who can forget their high school years? The fun, the craziness, the insanity and the joy of being young. The crazy ideas and silly thoughts of a young mind. The carefree days of being a teenager.The memories with friends, the laughters and the tears that were shared with them. The not-so good things that we did, but can get away with it because we are underage. Who can forget their first crush, their first love or maybe their first kiss too? Their first heartache and heartbreak? The memories of their young love? Who was not excited with their JS Prom? Who didn’t spend a lot of time looking for the right dress, the right accessories to match the dress, and the right shoes to wear for the Prom? Who didn’t anticipate that their crush will ask them to dance? Who didn’t cut a class, had a fight with a teacher or a classmate.
I miss my high school life. I miss the things that I used to do back then. And most specially, I miss my friends. Friends whom I shared all the memories of high school. Yeah, until now we remain friends. But there’s a difference between now and then. Now that we know life is not as simple as we thought. Now that we have more and bigger responsibilities. That the time we can spend to each other is getting less and less, because each of us is living our own life. Each of us has our own set of priorities, yes, now that we learned how to prioritized things. Now that we learned that life is as complex as the chemistry formula that we can’t solved.
Though I know the friendship that we have, even with less time to spend to each other, will always be there no matter what. I just can’t help to think and wish to bring back the time. So even just for a while, I could forget being an adult and be young at heart again.
Fairytales and Magic spells
As a child, I love reading fairytales. I love the concept of castles, prince, and princess. I love hearing the words “once upon a time” and end it with ” and they live happily ever after”. I love the scene on how the prince saved the princess from witches, and dragons, or waking her up in a spell by kissing her. I used to dreamed that scene almost every night. I used to wish that I have a “fairy-god mother”, ” dwarf friends”, “talking mice and talking cat”, or a “magic carpet”. I used to hope that I can find a “wishing well”, “magic dust”, or a “magic wand”. I did wish to have a “golden voice” so I could catch to attention of my prince charming. I wished I had a “wishing lamp” and a “genie” so I could make three wishes. I used to think that maybe one of those frogs is my prince charming ( silly thought I know ). I used to think that maybe in my past life I am a princess. I used to imagine a prince riding in a white horse coming towards me. To rescue me. That he crossed seven seas and climbed seven mountains just to saved me.
But as I am growing up, I realized that fantasy and reality are not the same. I realized that fairytales are just fantasy. A make believe. I have learned that fairytales are just exaggerated realities. Those writers exaggerate the reality so they can catch the attentions of little children. The main target of their market are children, specially girls. They know that with magics and some unusual things they can get the attentions of little girls. Add a very handsome, almost perfect ( if not perfect) prince charming or a knight in shining armour. A perfect plot. Who can resist those things. For a girl who is idealistic, for a child full of fantasy, for a child who would believe in everything, for a child who can imagine anything, she can never resist that. She could never resist the thought of having a man in her life as handsome, as gentle, and almost perfect as the prince in every fairytales.
Those dragons, witches, wicked stepmother and stepsisters are the representations of our problems. The obstacles in our life. The things that make us cry and suffer. The people that makes our life difficult and hard. The things that makes us crazy and insane. Those who are happy when we feel pain and when we are hurt. Someone who seems friendly and harmless but wants to stab us at the back.
Where on earth can I find a fairy-god mother, or dwarfs? Where pet-shop can I buy a talking cat or a talking bird or a talking mice? Where appliances’ center can I find a talking casserole, talking teapot, talking candle holder and a magic carpet? What shop do they sell magic dust, magic wand and a wishing lamp? Where can I find a genie? Where is the paradise? These things represents the things that makes our life easier. Our family and friends who always support us. People who helps us. People who makes us laugh in times of trouble. Those who help us solve some of our problems.
And that prince charming thing, how many of those girls who used to believe in fairytales found their prince charming. How many of them experienced heartaches. How many of them cried a lot every-night because of heartbreaks. There’s no such thing as prince charming or a knight in shining armour. Who, that is not out of his own mind, will sacrifice his life just to save other’s life? Is there someone out there who is a perfect gentleman? Someone who is almost perfect ( if not perfect ). Someone who will sacrifice everything for his love. Someone who will do everything just to please a woman. Where on earth can I meet a guy who will fall head over heels in love with me? I believe that there is someone for every girl, not a prince charming. Nor a knight in shining armour. Someone who is not perfect but someone who is right for them. “Prince charming” is from fantasy, “Mr. Right” or “The One” is from reality.
Fairytales, make believe, magic spells and fantasy. These are all from reality. Exaggerated reality. But fairytales and fantasy have an happy ending, reality doesn’t have. It goes on and on and on.
stupidity attacks
I have a friend who’s been in love with this guy for almost 6 years now. He’s part of her past, her first boyfriend actually. Though she had some boyfriends after him, she was never over him. None of the boyfriends made her forget about him.
After the breakup, it is not just the two of them who were affected, I was also affected, and some of my friends, because the guy is also a friend of mine. Part of the group, part our group. There were changes in atmosphere within the group whenever the two of them were with us. Although a lot of times the guy was intentionally making excuses not to be with us. He’s been considerate for the girl. He’s giving her some space for her to move on.
When he thought that the girl had already moved on. He started being friends with her again. Asking her to movies or eat out. The problem is, the girl is still in love him. And she agrees everytime the guy ask her. Her feeling for him grew deeper. The guy is so vocal about his feelings for her, he still loves her, but he’s not yet ready for a serious relationship. He just can’t commit himself for a relationship. And my friend, who is so inlove with him, accepts the fact. The fact that she cannot completely have the guy that she loves.
She is happy whenever she’s with him. Whenever the guy calls her. Whenever the guy invites her for a movie or a lunch. The problem is, it is not on a regular basis. Three months, four months without a communication is a natural thing for them. This is where my friend is hurting, after a happy moment with the guy, a long agony is her companion. After a date, where they almost did things that only couples would do, she was left without a word. Yeah, she’s happy for a moment, but lonely and sad after it. For almost three years, thats their situation. For almost three years, my friend is hurting. For almost three years, he’s making a fool out of her.
I told her to stop seeing him. Maybe she cannot avoid him completely because they have a lot of common friends, but at least avoid being alone with him. It is not being helpful for her. He’s fooling her and she’s willing to be fooled. It is not easy forgeting someone that you really love. I know, Ive been there. It is a long process. But if loving that person means making yourself a fool, making yourself someone who’s not really you. If loving that person only brings out the worse of you, it is worth it. If love doesn’t do good to you, just pain hurt and heartaches, why keep on holding on, it is time to let go. Stop holding on.
Love is a good thing. And so does loving.
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Why we become stupid when it comes on loving? That no matter how smart and intellegent we are, we transform into stupid innocent person we hate to be. That eventhough we know that it is not right anymore we still don’t care and continue on loving. Even the person that we love is hurting us, intentionally or unintentionally, we still love that person. Loving a person is giving them the right to hurt us, but we don’t care. We don’t care if loving will only bring us pain, hurt, heartbreaks, and heartaches.
Are we really in love with the person or we are just in love with love?
Chances
I always give the benefit of a doubt to every person. I don’t listen to my first impression because I don’t believe and I don’t trust my first impression. I don’t believe and I don’t listen to people who says things to other people. Why? because it is their own perception to a person and not my own perception. We might have a different perception with the person.
But more usual than not, I am the one in the losing end. I am the one who gets the blame. For the people around me, its all my fault, because I didn’t listen to them. I am the one to take blame.
Is it wrong to give a benefit of a doubt?
Is it wrong not to judge a person from what you heard from other persons?
Is it wrong not to judge a person by your first impression?
Is it wrong to give a person the chance to my friendship?
I don’t usually care if a person proved me wrong in giving my benefit of a doubt. I didn’t lose anything. But now, with what had happened, maybe I am wrong. Maybe they are right. Maybe there people who don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my first impression is right sometimes. Maybe I should listen to other people.
They say I should stop giving the benefit of the doubt? I should listen to the people around me? I should consider my first impression? But I can’t stop giving the benefit of the doubt. I can’t always consider my first impression. I’ll still take my chances on it.
Chances are; maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong.
